Well, I suppose it had to happen.
Just as I was getting life back on track and recovering from my recent bout of depression. WHAM - my first major MS relapse struck with a vengeance.
It started on Monday evening when my feet were tingling and painful, much more so than usual. Hubby put it down to the altercation I had with a young man and his girlfriend earlier in the day.
OK, you want to know what happened?
Well I was walking along the seafront, quite slowly as always with my stick but getting along and keeping mobile which is important for general health when I heard someone coming up behind me.
"Old people!" I heard the male say as he came alongside.
Normally placid, this really annoyed me and for once I turned to confront him.
"I am not old, I have MS - do you know anyone with MS?"
He looked at me blankly and shook his head - his girlfriend just looked embarrassed.
"Maybe one day you will get it and ,you will know what it is like" I said.
Maybe that wasn't very nice but I was so angry that he felt he could judge someone on either their age or disability. He was lucky I didn't trip him over with my stick - I did think about it. They walked on a bit further and crossed the road. I don't know if he heard my final comment or just chose to ignore it as I said
"....By the way you are losing your trousers!"
I
smiled inwardly as I thought that maybe I have a reason to be walking
as though I have wet myself but his trousers had a crotch so low that
they could easily have been full of the brown stuff. Poor hubby said I
shouldn't have said anything as in today's society I risked an assault
or worse. I didn't feel threatened though (after all I had the stick -
and he wouldn't have been able to run away very quickly in those
trousers!) If the thought of that has made you smile check out this video.
He looked in his early to mid 20's, an age when I would have expected someone to have had a bit more respect and understanding and less likely to be ageist and prejudiced against someone with a disability. I'm not sure he had ever heard of MS though - but with luck he might think a bit more in future about what he says. I don't know where my assertiveness came from (possibly the Cognitive Behavioural Therapy that I am doing) but I felt empowered and proud of myself. But we all know what follows pride...
On Tuesday morning I woke up and my lower legs felt numb and cold and it felt like I had tight bands around my ankles. My feet felt like I was wearing socks full of crushed glass. This was worrying. I have not had a major relapse since I was diagnosed with MS in 2003, I haven't actually even had a minor one since 2005 - and theywere only a slight blurring of vision in my left eye and a crushing feeling around the chest which those of us in the know call the"MS Hug"
It was after these minor attacks that I started the beta interferon injections (Rebif) which research has shown reduces severity and frequency of relapses - it is not a cure for MS, there is NO CURE for MS, but if it helps improve our quality of life then it must be considered to be a good thing.I got my husband to drive me into work and I spoke to my manager at work and told him that if this was going to follow the same progression as my first attack then I was possibly going to "lose my legs" for a while and would probably need to go off sick at some point. A wonderful colleague who lives in the next town took me home at the end of my shift.
On Wednesday, my legs were even worse and they felt so cold. I had an inspired idea and a trip to Poundland provided a cheap solution. Thanks to the 1980's revival (I remember it the first time round) they were selling leg warmers, which I could easily wear under my trousers.
On Thursday, again hubby took me in to work and I spoke to my other manager. It is so difficult to explain MS pain to anyone that hasn't had it. Everyone with MS has different symptoms but mine is as I described above but as it was also spreading upwards it felt like I had airbags between my knees. I explained that I could probably carry on working as long as it doesn't affect my hands and fingers too much this time. I rang my MS Nurse and between us we decided I would try to ride it out over the weekend and contact my GP on Monday if it was no better or worse!
Today,
the airbag feeling had spread up to my bum - I know there is already
plenty of padding there but to feel like you are sitting on airbags is
weird and it is like you are having to balance due to feeling wobbly. I
was also feeling very shaky all afternoon and it was also causing
numbness in my "Lady area" and up to my waist. I have decided to call it
my "MS Trousers". I was also more clumsy than usual (really?!) but
didn't feel anything when I bashed my legs because they were numb and
tingly anyway.
Of course things like this always happen on a Friday afternoon. Dare I risk leaving it until Monday or ring my GP today? My colleagues urged me to speak to the GP at the Practice where we work and ask his advice. He was very understanding and suggested I ring my GP and see what he thought. As is always the case my own GP was on holiday this week so I had to speak to one I didn't know. However he stepped up to the plate and prescribed me a high dose of steroids for a week to try and stop the relapse in it's tracks. Mind you he has also passed the buck back to my MS Nurse who I have got to phone on Monday for follow up with her. I may try to see my own GP next week anyway to keep him up to speed as I have never had a relapse since living here on the Island.
So, now I am on 12 tablets of prednisolone a day as well as the Omeprazole he has given me to prevent them causing indigestion symptoms. On top of them I have to take Gabapentin for nerve pain, Dosolupin for depression, Aspirin to prevent blood clots, Simvastatin to keep cholesterol levels low, Co-codamol for general pain and Metformin for my diabetes (which incidentally will go completely haywire with the steroids!!)
There you are then, what a week I have had so far, and hopefully you now have a bit more of an insight into how MS can strike out of the blue. What I haven't said is that in a few weeks we are due to go on a cruise to the Canary Islands. I know that, that will be just what I need but I would like to be able to use my legs without looking as if I am permanently drunk. So if you can keep your fingers crossed I would appreciate it.
I will keep you posted! -x-x-x-
