A bitter sweet day for me as always. On the one hand I realise I am so lucky to still have my Mum although she lives (with Dad) in Cambridgeshire so I won't get to see her today. I have sent her and Mother in Law (in Suffolk) some flowers which they both loved and they also got some free chocolates sent with them. My younger brother and sister and 4 of their five grandchildren live nearer and will visit today. My eldest niece is living with her boyfriend and his family in London along with her 3 month old son called Tyler Scott - so its her first Mothering Sunday as a Mum herself.
At the age of fourteen I was told I could never have children, and despite advances in medicine nothing could have helped with my gynaecological problems so I have had to try and cope with being childless. Anyone who can conceive naturally and have children takes it for granted and can never know the emotional pain and distress it causes, to one who's only real wish as a teenager was to be a Mum. On top of all my other medical problems that followed - Back injury, Diabetes, MS it has really contributed to my Depression. I am so lucky to be married to such a wonderful and understanding man who copes so well with my physical and emotional ups and downs. So today is hard to cope with for "would have been Mums!" I had an Auntie who couldn't have children and we always sent each other a card to show we were not forgotten, but sadly she died in August 2006 and so I have to make do with sending an "in Memoriam" notice to her local paper to show I remember her. I can't imagine my nieces and nephews thinking of me in that way, although I did help look after the girls when my sister went to work. Don't get me wrong I loved it and one day the little one accidentally called me Mum, which was wonderful. I like to think I helped them become rounded human beings but then the College gets them and turns them into "Teenagers!!!" How different my schooldays were at the Girls Grammar School in Cambridge and my early childhood years, when I went to Sunday School and learned to respect and help other people. Do Sunday Schools still exist?
I also feel for anyone who has lost their Mum, particularly in the last year, of course this now includes little Bobby and Freddie who sadly lost their Mum, Jade Goody Tweed earlier today. My heart goes out to these youngsters who have been thrust unknowingly into the public glare. May God bless them and I hope they grow up to be wonderful young men who would have made her proud of them. I'm sure she is looking down on them and guiding them in their life pathways.
RIP Jade Goody Tweed
