©Jenny Harrod 2019

The end is in sight - in reflective mood

So, here I am again. The difference this time is that the end is in sight. No not Brexit, but my Chemotherapy.

It doesn't seem possible that it was July that I first started the Cytotoxic Drugs, being hooked up to the infusions for two out of three weeks with a recovery week every third week, and a battle to keep my blood sugars under control whilst under the influence of the steroids. 

Now I find myself with just two more sessions to go in my Eighth cycle of Gemcis. I know there are many of you who have been following my story and how I am coping, and I thank you for being there and I hope I have been of some comfort to anyone else out there also going through Chemotherapy.

Last week I mad a big decision - my hair is getting so thin now it is becoming embarrassing and difficult to do anything with, so on 14th December I will be having a Charity Head Shave. This will be part of a huge fundraising day at the MS Charity shop in Shanklin where we are holding our Xmas Grand Prize Draw. 

Although taking place at the shop and donations on the day will go to the MS Society, my Head Shave fund-raising page will be supporting 3 charities.

It is pretty obvious why I have chosen the first two, but you might be raising an eyebrow about the Friends of the Hospital.

I chose them because they provide the little touches that  make staying in hospital less traumatic, the furniture and little touches in the Lounges. Their volunteers run the two Shops and Cafés, and the Ward Trolley that brings round newspapers and (forbidden if you are a diabetic) goodies! 

The regular chap on Thursday mornings knows me now, and comes armed with a Daily Mirror for me to read once I am hooked up and tucking into my cornflakes. Plus of course in the Chemotherapy suite the volunteers make a lovely cup of tea, several times a day!

Sadly, this week the Friends Shop and Café within the main Concourse of the hospital is being closed and relocated in the new Outpatients Department, to be replaced by a Costa Coffee outlet! This decision is extremely unpopular and will undoubtedly adversely affect their income at the hands of this profiteering big player!

I suppose this sneaky privatisation by the back door is making money for someone at the hospital through placement rental, but they will not offer the personal touch that the wonderful Volunteers do at present. So I thought they deserved a bit of support for all the upheaval they are currently going through so added them as my third Charity.

I am in a somewhat reflective mood as I face the end of my treatment. I found my consent form yesterday and re-read the ticked box to see the aim of my Chemotherapy was Palliative or an Attempt to shrink the Tumour and improve my Quality of Life. Of course I knew that at the start but it didn't seem that real while I was having the treatment and I was full of fight and determination - now I am getting to the point where I find out if 'Boris' has responded to the Chemo and shrunk sufficiently as not to be an immediate threat to my life, or whether the Oncologist will need to use something else from his armoury. Seeing it in black and white again, did, for the first time create a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye as I was forced to accept my own mortality.  

Sorry, everyone is due a wobble or two, even me.

Hopefully in my next blog I will be back to my normal bullish and positive self.


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